Time to End these Fantastic Tales from Nigeria

By Jude Atupulazi

I have heard and read many things in this country that outrightly seemed untrue and which later turned out to be such. Yet there are some that have or are taking time to be proved false. One of such was the tale by the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) Nnamdi Kanu, that Nigeria’s president, Muhammadu Buhari, had long died and been replaced by a cloned person from Sudan¬† that bears the name, Jubrin.

I am yet to buy this tale simply because it was, is and will continue to be too fantastic to be true. My stand is that such a thing cannot happen without any of the leading world news stations celebrating it, especially being that such is what they pray for. But despite the fantastic nature of the tale, many, if not all, of Kanu’s apostles are dead sure that the person in Aso Rock Villa at the moment is a man-made replica of Buhari. Some other people also believe so. I don’t.

Before then, or is it after then, was the celebrated story of how a snake swallowed money which was found to be missing in one government office. Of course, it turned out to be a story cooked up by those who stole the money in order to cover their tracks.

But even at that, one wondered how on earth they hoped that people would believe that a snake found its way into their office and went straight to the filing cabinet or safe where the money was kept and swallowed it. But this is Nigeria, a land of fantastic tales and a great theatre of the absurd.

There have been tales, tales and more tales, such that they have been taken as the norm these days. But then, there is this one that in the present economic realities of the country, seems too unreal to be true. It is the donation of N1.4 billion by the man who calls himself the president of Nigeria to neighbouring Niger Republic to purchase security vehicles to fight crime in that country.

He gave this money at a time his own country has been forced on its knees by all manner of criminals, with he, the president, unable to wriggle out of it. It is also coming at a time the universities in his country have been on strike over his failure to pay them what they demand.

The donation to Niger is coming also at a time a loaf of bread now costs more than a three bedroom apartment some years back. It is coming at a time the Naira has crashed and has continued crashing. It is indeed coming at a time the country itself has collapsed.

Yet, Buhari, oblivious to all these problems, proceeded to donate billions to a neighbouring country whose economy is far better than ours. So what was the motivating factor behind Buhari’s act? What, indeed, does Buhari share in common with Niger Republic? The other time he caused the national rail line project to include a rail route to same Niger, leaving out some vital states in the Southeast of his own country which are the industrial and commercial hubs of his country.

Kanu had claimed that the man we see today as Buhari is from Sudan but if that is so, why is he, Buhari, directing everything to Niger? Or does he want to tell us that he is indeed from Niger?

Many have called for his impeachment, noting that it was long overdue. In the wake of such calls, some senators rallied to demand for his impeachment, even though the process may not be completed before Buhari leaves office in May next year because of the Nigerian factor.

But where have these lawmakers been all this while? That Buhari has been allowed to still be in office up to now is a heavy indictment to all the lawmakers. It is also a heavy indictment to all those serving in his government who ought to have long resigned from this useless, clueless, murderous, unfeeling and most devilish government in the history of Nigeria.

But because of the lure of filthy lucre, those lawmakers and appointees have kept aloof all this time. As if their action has not been callous enough, they will soon come out to campaign for same party ahead of the 2023 General Elections. Worse still, some Nigerians will still not only listen to them but vote for them, again all because of filthy lucre.

Indeed, the eighth Wonder of the World would be if the All Progressives Congress, APC, gets more than 500 votes. I say 500 because of the fact that some appointees and party members will elect to vote for their stomachs in a country where what we call stomach infrastructure still influences votes to some extent. The rest of Nigerians have obviously decided to look elsewhere for salvation and see the coming election as the last chance to save themselves and their future.

Before now some politicians had been deceiving us as caring for us and posing as super men and women who always spoke out against evil. A former governor in Anambra State is one of them. He had always wowed the gullible with simulations of a fearless man but all this while no one has heard ”kpim” from him against a government that has shown palpable bias to his people and religion. One expected that he would have long resigned and carpeted the evil regime but, no, he does not want to lose the perks of political office.

He is not alone. There are also many politicians who were since expected to speak out but have kept mum in order to preserve their meal ticket. Verily, verily I tell you, these people are part of the problem and should never show their faces where the long suffering Nigerians are.

Indeed, if many Nigerians were unsure of the hopelessness of Buhari’s Government, the latest action of spending billions to put out a fire in a neighbouring country when his own country is eaten up by fire is enough reason for them to know that Buhari isn’t someone any right thinking person should support; not him, not his party, not his people.

But here and there, you come across people who still want us to vote for the party that has crippled them and theirs. Is that not juju, as we say here?

It is not even as if Buhari is alone in the tomfoolery. Did not that party’s presidential candidate hire all manner of people recently to pose as bishops on the day he was presenting his running mate to the public? Initially I had thought it was one of those social media banter but it turned out to be as true as APC sinking Nigeria.

I also find it fantastic that any Igbo person should be canvassing for APC at this moment in history; ditto any Christian. This is a government and party that have taken Nigeria many many years back and made Nigerians deeply aware of their religious and ethnic differences.

It is also true that this is a party and government under whose watch blood flowed like a river without the government and party showing remorse or any human feeling. Indeed, these are the greatest legacies the federal government under Buhari and his party, the All Progressives Congress, APC, will be bequeathing to Nigerians come 29 May 2023.

Were it when citizens spoke in one voice, the people would gather to welcome these people with kobokos once they leave power to show them how angry, pained and wounded they are. But, alas, we no more speak in one voice and that is why some of these people have the effrontery to still be asking for our votes and shamelessly, some people listen to them.

I am happy though that the majority have seen that the only way to save themselves and their families is to vote out this unfeeling and monstrous party and usher in a new set of people that will think and act like human beings. It has become a matter of life or death. Nigeria is at the brink of total ruination and failure to act will be catastrophic for both the leader and the led.

It is time to put an absolute end to all these fantastic tales and actions. It is time to open the windows and let in some life giving fresh air. The time for niceties are gone.