Those and Things to Avoid this Season (Republished)

By Jude Atupulazi

The Christmas Season has become a very much misunderstood one. The reason for the season has simply been lost on virtually all. Thus, a season in which there should have been joy, love and celebration of the birth of our saviour, has often been turned to one of celebration of mundane things which often leave in their wake, tears, gnashing of teeth and sorrows.

Following popular demand on an article I wrote recently about how this season has been turned on its head, I have decided to republish the article below, especially as many of those it is meant for are now very much around.


Any time from now, they will start arriving. I’m talking about those young men who sag their trousers, wear earrings and either plait their hair or wear dreadlocks. They are the ones popularly known as the Yahoo or Malay Boys.

Their appearance easily gives them away. They also drive around town in exotic cars, especially G-Wagon. Perhaps, this time around, they will introduce another brand of car. But the common denominator in their attitude is loudness. Yes, they love being noticed and it is difficult not to notice them. They are the beloved of many young girls, especially university students. These girls’ lust to be given a treat is easily met by these Yahoo Boys who spend money like there is no tomorrow.

They lodge in expensive hotels and from their rooms ooze the harsh aroma of different kinds of weed and other intoxicating substances. While they throw money about, they can also be dangerous; even diabolical. Stories abound about how they use some of their girls for ritual purposes.

There was this day at Regina Junction, Awka, when one of them was said to have dropped off a young woman who almost immediately ran mad as she started stripping herself until she became stark naked. Of course, by the time help came, the man who dropped her there had melted away, leaving the poor woman to carry her cross. What a brutal price to pay for frolicking with a Yahoo Boy!

I also witnessed one at the popular Roselife near Abakaliki Street area in Awka. I was in my car while having something fixed when suddenly I saw people running past my car to a spot ahead. I got down to know what the commotion was about only to behold a young woman rolling on the road and shouting.

As we watched, she removed her pant and threw it inside a gutter and later started acting violently and pursuing people until a young man held her. The story was that she was seen with a young man who vanished immediately she started behaving abnormally. Another victim of Yahoo Boys, I was told.

There was also this story of two young men who were visited by a young woman in their hotel room. Later, the young men left without the young woman and the hotel people somehow failed to notice. Some three days later, a cleaner noticed a smell in the room and believing a rat must have died, began a systematic search of the room. She saw nothing until she raised the mattress on the bed and saw the dead body of the young woman.

And to think that other guests might have lodged in same room without knowing they were sleeping on top of a corpse!

Such stories about the Yahoo Boys have now become normal and no longer raise eyebrows. But amazingly, many young women still flock around them, often with devastating consequences which include, raping, kidnapping and killing.

December time is when these boys hit the town from their bases which can be anywhere from China, Malaysia, Singapore, or wherever. The sources of their wealth are mostly dubious as most of them are fraudsters. Anyone who wants to stay safe this yuletide should therefore, very carefully, avoid these species of young men. It ain’t healthy at all to mix with them.

Prosperity Pastors

These are another dangerous species to be avoided. They masquerade as men of God but are solely after the pockets of the undiscerning. This is the period when they organize crusades with giant banners and billboards proclaiming how they will heal, deliver and make people rich overnight.

At such crusades, you may see the lame walk and the blind see. But do not be fooled. These are all what we call ”arrangee”. Those people are paid to fake blindness and not being able to walk after which they are paid off.

There was a case where one of them was not settled as previously agreed and the bubble burst.

These men may claim to be men of God but have also been known to kill for ritual after luring their victims to their hidden abattoirs. Was it not recently that a supposed man of God’s cover was blown in Umunze, Anambra State, after he was caught making a sacrifice with human parts? And was it not in Enugu that it was discovered that two young men had been buried under the foundation of a church being built?

This is a period where, some young men, after watching their supposed mates throwing money about in the town and even in church, can easily fall prey to these fake men of God in their quest to be delivered from the spirit of poverty. Be warned! All that glitters this period may not be gold. You may not be alive to tell the story.

Mortuary Attendants

Would it surprise you to learn that many bodies retrieved from mortuaries these days are without vital body parts? Who, indeed, would begin to force open the eyes and mouths of their dead ones to see if their eyes or tongues are still there? Who will undress their dead to find out if their sexual organs are still intact? It is the knowledge that few people will do this that some mortuary attendants have become emboldened to continue the business of selling vital parts of bodies entrusted in their care.

Suddenly, some young men are becoming interested in working in morgues. It is fast becoming a money spinner as they sell those body parts to buyers. About a year ago, I learnt about a young boy who chose to work in a mortuary than learning a trade.

I did not think much of it then, but after hearing how another young man who worked in such a place during his national youth service was later found with the body parts of someone he killed, I am beginning to know better.

So if you are burying anyone this season, you may ask the attendant at the mortuary to undress the body first before you take your dead home for burial. What you may discover may shock you.

The Overnight Millionaires

Have you wondered why that young man you know how things were with him suddenly started living big? This is a season where many such people resurrect. They disappear for some time only to reappear this season driving big cars and spending big. Before you know it, they may even come to ask for the hand of your daughter in marriage.

Given the gluttony of many of us and the way we worship riches, chances are that some parents will gleefully acquiesce to their request and give their daughters to them.

A few years ago, one such marriage happened. A guy came and kayoed the family of a girl with money, took the girl and went to Lagos. The parents did not hear of their daughter again for a long time. It happened that the man locked her up in a room with little food and engaged in violent sex with her in that room.

She was beaten if she complained. It was only by chance that she escaped and lived to tell her story. It may never be known why he locked her up in a room when he could have easily had sex with her in conventional places, having married her.

So next time anyone you know suddenly becomes a ”big man”, be wary of him. There may be more than meets the eye.

Indeed, this is a period when people try to look different, to be respected; even worshipped, and thus can go to any length to achieve that. The essence of Christmas has sadly been lost and we are forced to live with it. We should ”shine” our eyes and not fall prey to our greed, gluttony or inordinate ambition.

As a community, let’s not give chieftaincy titles to fraudsters or ritualists. As Christians, let’s not collect blood money because we want to embark on projects. The bad values we elevate today will come back to haunt us tomorrow. It’s not all about money; it should be about humanity.

Let’s not be part of the CROWD. Let’s be different in a positive way. Let’s try to be ourselves. God’s time will always be the best. May we and ours survive this period and live to tell our stories.