By Nwankwo Solomon Ewezuga
Sexual abuse is the ill in our society at this present time. Most often, people who indulge in this very act find it as the only option towards resting the sexual urge. Urge of course is a sign of animality of the human species, though other living things share in this very property.
The difference though is that man has better control over his appetite unlike lower animals that act instinctively.
Their appetite is being controlled by nature but man according to Sigurður Kristinsson, has soul that is made up of cognitive and appetitive faculties. The cognitive faculty Aquinas calls the intellect (intellectus), and the appetitive faculty Kristinsson calls the will. It is through the complex interaction of the will and intellect that distinctively human actions occur, according to Aquinas.
But actually does sex satisfies the urge? This might look like asking whether food satisfies hunger. Food can quench hunger but not appetite. Appetite is the great desire for something which proceeds within. Hunger for food or thirst of water is a biological thing that occurs outside the mind and can due to its necessity, lead one to death independent of the mind.
Sexual urge is equilibrated to appetite which proceeds from the mind as a mark of imperfection. Though, it is inherent in man, still has a consolidating principle to bear good fruit for which it is made. Sexual urge as we differentiated it from other urges is not made necessarily to be gratified through sex, but to bring us into that mutual love on which man was created.
That love commanded in the Bible has been predestined and concealed in the urge as a symbol of our incompleteness and the need of accepting others into our lives as a sine qua non. Sex does not quench urge but love does. That is why some move from one sex room to another because it has been formed as a habit. Some people have misplaced this love in the sense that being lovely means sexy to them. To remove sex is to remove love, that is, the only way to prove love is by sex. But this is fake, not the truth of life.
Man is made for one another and not for individual existence rather we coexist. It is only by this urge that a man and woman can be united into one. God knews this before hand and ordained it. The factuality cannot be negotiated because without this intrinsically generated love, the condition of this world cannot be imagined nor be explained, because it will be worse than a battle field. But with this, we can unite into one.
But today, some people feed on this sex even to the extent of being against nature by taking hard drugs to multiply the capacity into multiple performances. At this point, it becomes abnormal and of course a psychological misfortune that erases in its entirety man’s rationality.
Sexual abuse has infiltrated our societies (both religious and civil societies), such that the victims are numerous and often the under aged. These children are tracked at the point they cannot resist it. Some are being taken unawares; some are sugar sons and daughters, yet without their full consents. Parents should be at watch knowing full well that no one can be trusted.
Are you sure that your tenants are not abusing your children sexually? What of some teachers and guardians? It is a contagious act that the victims do not remain the same after being abused. We should all be at alert and give our children the necessary training and provide their basic necessities of life so they cannot be moved at any offer. This will go a long way to sanitize ourselves and our societies.
When it comes to sexual abuse, prevention is the key. Don’t assume you know yourself too well because the Bible says; If you think you are standing firm you had better be careful that you do not fall.(1Cor;10:12) . A great deal of abuse in life seems unavoidable, and can only be escaped. Sex abuse can be avoided if proper precautions are put in place early on.
There are things I can stand on as a goad that leads one into sexual abuse.
1) Idleness as fueled by technological advancements: Idle mind as they say is the devil’s workshop. An idle mind is worse than a bomb waiting for explosion. Technology has made us freer, that is less busy. Such that huge load of work are done in a twinkle of an eye. Then, other times left are for what?
For instance, the transaction one is supposed to go to the bank and spend some time and do is now cut short with mobile banking within a few minutes. The time to stand in a queue and other things is now dodged. Some who are not the busy type can use this preserved time to welcome this evil in their mind and practice it within the same space. The need for being busy always can get this erased.
2) Social media as a signpost: Social media has been mismanaged by immature minds. The fact that no quality is required for participation has left the platform bare for all sorts of things. Many people who indulged in sexual abuse were prompted by what they view in social media such as pornography and chats.
3) Corruption of Laws: Of course, human freedom has been over-emphasized over pre-existed laws, both human and natural laws. Anarchy is the opposite of orderliness and that is our system of rule now, because when there is no longer law regulating actions, people go insane with their desires. Freedom corrupts and often misleads. Being gay is a sign of excess freedom and abuse of natural law even human law, still some get it approved instead of abhorred?
4) Poor family upbringing and sex education:Some parents have proven their incapacity in bringing up their children in a matured way. This gets manifested by the way their children behave especially in the face of this menace. They cannot make positive use of their adolescence because of the inadequate family education they obtained. Actually, they have no proper knowledge about their urges in order to channel it to the appropriate angle, rather they move around the streets like lower sexing animals.
5) Loss of self control as a virtue: Self control is a powerful virtue that drives evil away. But the incapability to say no has led many into regrettable acts. According to Thales, the strongest man is the one who is stronger than himself. Every rational being should be capable to say no to what is evil and grab the good. Sexual abuse beyond every reasonable doubt is evil and deserves to be eradicated.