By Rosanna Emenusiobi
(continued from the last edition)
It will be beautiful if modern women discover that their problem is not “men”, but her mentality about men, ignited by “feminist ideologies”. Also, you need to discover that the majority of the power in the man-woman relationship is held by the woman because of a man's natural emotional and psychological dependence on her. This is not about fault. This about power. Does that mean that men are wussy wimps? No, of course not. The same man who will crumble at the criticism from his woman could run into a burning building to save the lives of complete strangers. Any woman who thinks for a minute that this is subservience is a way off track in her thinking, and handicapped in her ability to have a fabulous marriage.
5. Celebrating Our Femininity
Being a feminine woman is not synonymous with being a weak woman. Femininity has been given a bad rap in recent decades. When women began screaming equality we lost something valuable – we lost sight of treasuring who we really are, and rather delighted in all we had to offer. Somewhere along the way, we swallowed the “woman is inferior” lie. We feasted on this misconception more than those we accused of instituting it – the men. Together with other lies, they became an avalanche, and deepened the deception that being feminine means being powerless; hence the purported need to “empower” us. Or the wrong idea that we are not valuable and therefore are unqualified to be taken seriously.
The word “feminine” has many synonyms: female, womanly, ladylike, woman-like, non-masculine, unmanly, endowed with womanly qualities, soft, gentle, delicate, sensitive, modest, effeminate. The Webster Dictionary says that someone feminine will “have the quality or nature of the female sex, characteristic of or appropriate or peculiar to women.” Michelle McKinney suggest that the term, feminine, is synonymous with meek, which in the Greek is defined as “strength under control”. Femininity is strength wrapped in a velvet glove. It does not insist on its own way, but most of the time it gets it.
Femininity is not casting shy looks. It is not wearing little lace gloves, or swooning in the face of slightest indiscretion. Rather, it is an inner quality that emanates from a woman who knows her calling and her value. Feminine women are strong women because their influence is deeply felt. This influence gets beneath the surface because it is invited in. It is invited in because it is attractive and non-threatening. It is nonthreatening because it does not seek to intimidate.
You see, the feminine woman knows who she is and celebrates being all woman. She lets who she is naturally do all the work for her. Men fall all over themselves for that woman. And those women are happy and stress-free women.
Feminine woman loves being a woman and all that it encompasses. She loves the fact that she can be a bundle of contradictions without shame; that she can be intelligent, intuitive, sharply discerning, dignified, strong or soft, and warm; generous with her compassion, tender with her touch, and that she can cry openly; that she can ask a man to carry something when it's heavy and enjoy his gallantries. She revels in the knowledge that it is her prerogative to change her mind a million times because it is a woman thing. It is a beautiful thing. She glories in the fact that she can juggle all the affairs of the family – and yet she is so feminine!
6. Why Are Women Created in the first Place?
Let us get back to the garden and take a closer look at why Eve was created in the first place. God said it was not good for man to be alone. He said that man needed a “helpmate”; in other words, a helper who would be equipped to help him in the manner in which he needed help. God said it; Adam did not say it. This is important to note. Man did not realise that he needed help. In fact, he still appears not to know that he needs help! This is confirmed every time a he refuses to ask for directions, especially from his wife, when he gets lost or when in trouble. He believes he can do it! You know what I am talking about! So, the number one fact here that we need to remember in order to start reclaiming our indispensability, worth, and real power, is that man needs help. Now, this does not mean that you have to tell him that.
This is a privileged information given in order for you to understand your power source. Man does not do well without woman. Period. I am not berating or castigating him. God designed it that way. He has given each of us specific gifts in order to equip us to be a specific man's helper. Your gifts may differ from that of another woman, and that is fine because she was created to assist a different type of man. It is, therefore, important to partner with the person God has designed you to assist. And vice versa. That is why being aware of your own personal purpose and areas of gifting is essential before partnering. How else will you know if your marriage, for instance, will be a good partnership? How will he know that you are the one whom he needs to assist him? How will you know that he is the one who can make the most out of our gifts?
7. Our Feminine Specific Endowments
While man has been given the mandate of authority, woman has been given the mantle of influence. Quiet as it is kept, influence is more powerful than authority. Believable? We will treat this in depth in a later article. For now, never underestimate the power of a woman's influence. With little or no effort, you can get your man to do things no one else can. It is by simply being who you are. Besides influence, you also have intuition – the ability to be spiritually sensitive, to read the fine print in a given situation. Yes, your sexuality and your reproductive abilities are gifts no man has. You have something every man wants. You possess the ability to make him feel better than any successful business merger or football game could ever make him feel. Plus, you hold the power to lengthen his days through producing generations that bear his name. This is powerful. It is too powerful a gift to be abused or misused. These unique gifts should negate the need to resort to masculine tactics to get your heart's desire without experiencing a boomerang effect.
Both man and woman were created in the image and likeness of God, but are uniquely designed to emphasise specific parts of God's nature, with man leaning more toward the mind (head) of God, and woman toward the heart of God. Together they complement one another in such a way as to reflect God in His totality. Enough of this comparison. Let us continue with feminine influence. Eve influenced Adam to eat of the fruit. Herein lies our first lesson.
Eve did not grow hair on her chest, flex her muscles, get political, and talk or walk like a man. She simply extended him an enticing invitation to sample what she was serving. Masculine women put men on the defensive. The stronger or masculine women become, the more resistance men give, becoming more abusive and most physically demanding. Masculine women cause men to dig in their heel and fight for their positions. They are not only fighting for their positions, they are also fighting for their own self-respect. This is power play that results in painful repercussions in the long run.
8. Killing our Babies by Us: The Deep Open Wound on Our Feminine Spirit
Contraception, Abortion, sterilisation, infanticide – name them – leave a deep and open festering wound on our feminine spirit. Women are deeply nurturing, fiercely protective, unabashedly uninhibited when it comes to doing whatever must be done to ensure the welfare of their children. This was part of God's original plan. Woven into the fiber of every women's spirit is the instinct to protect the precious charges He has placed in her care. Women, especially mothers, are purveyors of life, created to give it, nurture it, protect it, and release it at the appropriate time to fulfill the purposes of God. In fact, we would dare say that the role of a mother is so intensely powerful that the destinies of nations lie in her hands.
Sadly, the enemy works overtime to distort and destroy the very spirit of motherhood among women today. In short, from the beginning he waged war against her and her offspring (cf. Gen. 3:15). He worked to exterminate every male child in Israel (cf. Ex. 2). Down through the ages he sought to be one step ahead of Jesus Christ, to cut Him off before He grew to fulfill His purpose, the salvation of mankind, consequently, thousands of children were murdered (cf. Matt.2:18). From Genesis to Revelation to present day, the spirit of assassination has been released against children. The war against women giving birth to babies has not stopped. In fact, it is has been more deadly. However, God's agenda must prevail despite the questions and fears that rise in the of an unexpected pregnancy: the absence of a father, the financial lack, the fear of the future, attacks without and within, disturbing medical innuendoes, the limited means of support materially or emotionally, the interrupted personal or professional agendas – the “inconveniences” of it all, according to individual personal circumstances. Yes, the spirit of assassination is still alive and well, cleverly cloaked beneath the deceptive disguise of contraception and abortion. I am not condemning those who have been deceived into killing their babies or using contraceptives, rather this is an attempt to expose the lie of the enemy. Women, reclaim your nurturing spirit!
9. Rediscovering Our Femininity: The Proper Use of Our Woman Power
If women rediscover the art and the power of their own femininity thus releasing men to be the men they were created to be, the negative acts of affirming their identity as men – through abuse and intimidation – would no longer be an option. God's original design put back into play would abort all of these retaliatory tactics that keep our relationships in the state of a no-win contest. It is essential that we rediscover our femininity by digging into specific areas in which we are tempted to take up a mantle that is not ours to wear. The rediscovery is ultimately about our own personal liberation. God wants every woman to be rooted and grounded in the full understanding of who she was created to be prior to setting her before the eyes of her own Adam. She needs to be equipped to inspire that man to be the man he is supposed to be. God knows that a complete woman is a force with which to be reckoned. This is why, I believe, He pitted the woman, not the man, against the devil. He placed enmity between the woman and the snake, between her offspring the snake's offspring (Gen. 3:15). Women are powerful. And a praying woman are the most dangerous weapons on the world in Satan's eyes. When God-fearing woman prays, she perseveres to the end.
That is what I am saying – feminine spirit. Getting back to God's original design; moving and walking, not after the flesh but after the spirit. Then, and only then, will our men sit up, take notice, and get in line. It is up to us, women. I am willing to do my part. So what about you? Going back to the Garden is our road to true freedom.
We must develop a new attitude to our God-given femininity. Attitude refers to your mind-set, way of thinking, your feelings and belief about something which ultimately dictate your approach. We must wear a new attitude before we can effectively use our woman power today.