Diary of A Modern Politician

By Amarachi Okpunobi

Monday, 7 January 2019

Dear Diary,

Hope you’re not mad at me, you know I am a Nigerian and a politician too. So, most times I may not be writing due to much engagement with meetings. Of course, you don’t expect me to write to you when I must have been annoyed by those silly counterparts of mine. Today’s meeting seems to be the most annoying. Those fools in my constituency think they can step on me. You know how it feels; while I am trying to win the election they are busy colonizing the minds of the people. Especially that Mr. Okorie, he thinks he can override me in the primary election. The case between me and him is a do or die affair. How could he tell the National Chairman that I embezzled the last empowerment fund meant for the youths? How could he even have the guts to mention my name before the chairman? In fact, who do they even want to empower? Is it the youths who want to fly out of the country for quick money or the ones who have become our thugs? Is it the youths who have refused to be leaders? Was it not last week I heard that the president of the youth my town was caught with other suspects in a recent bank robbery? Even the money he also embezzles from his office is not enough for him, and that Mr. Okorie had to report me to the chairman. In fact, I will unravel all those mysteries the press has been trying to dig out about his activities. He can go ahead and paint me black before the chairman; I will definitely deal with him my own way.

I was just wondering yesterday what the future holds for our dear country if eventually it is handed over to the younger generation as signed by the president last year in the not-too-young-to-run bill. How many of them are ready and equipped intellectually to take up the mantle of leadership when they have to SORT themselves through ordinary exams, to pass?

What about the ladies, who can’t pass without paying with their bodies? There are good ones though, but who can stand the test of time? Who will be able to stand out and say no to embezzlement of the national cake? I would rather opt that the old cargos that have refused to leave the White House remain instead of getting Nigeria into a bigger mess than what we have now. But what could be messier than the sufferings of Nigerians today.

Dear diary, I am even tired of playing politics. Who knows what will happen to Comrade Taye who was kidnapped last week? If those useless youths of could kidnap such a prominent person in our today’s nation in the presence of the armed forces, mine would be like the breath of the air for them. Nevertheless, I am not touched by his kidnap, let him release some of those money he has taken to himself, he thinks he is wise but I still trust our youths;, they are like death, they strike when life is at its peak.

Honestly dear diary, I want to get a PhD, to at least let them know am a professor too. I really have to expand my portfolio. Although I still don’t know the course to obtain that from, but I can’t start now anyway, we are in our endless strike. That is one thing I still fail to understand about this nation. Strike! Strike!! Strike!!! I wonder when that better Nigeria will come to stay. The late literary giant of Africa, Chinua Achebe had foreseen this when he said “things fall apart and the centre cannot hold”. How would the centre hold when peace that is supposed to be in the hearts of the citizens have been driven away by disunity? Where will the progress come from kwanu? Our greediness will definitely continue to be a great obstacle for this nation. Let’s watch and see what will happen during the presidential election. The recent vice presidential debate got me wondering whether the little electricity we are obliged once in a while will still be in existence after the elections. No business of mine anyway, I have my money and will still get more even, it will definitely sustain me after that. Whatever decision they make will not affect me. Almost all my kids have graduated abroad, so I am free like air.

I really pity our dear country. If people like me and Mr Okorie will leave the offices for diligent fellows, willing to serve this great nation, then I think the country will be close to getting better. But as for me, I still dey where I dey. Anybody that wants to contend with me will definitely smell pepper until they begin to share the national cake the way it should be. I sincerely hope with my power that I win the election and get a share of the cake for my children and children’s children. I can’t let them suffer, period!